2
Yesterday I relapsed again – today I am back at Day 1 and as a result my personal mission statement needed to be reexamined. My old personal mission statement is how I would like to live my life; my new personal mission statement is how I need to live my life. Anything and everything I want in life will ultimately fail and produce an unfavorable outcome if I can’t stay sober. The longest period of sobriety I’ve had since I was 15 years old is 48 days and it ended on 6/17/2022 when I drank, this was my first rehab stint and a short period thereafter.
All of my focus, time and attention needs to be centered around staying sober and making sober decisions. Charity starts at home and I need to be selfish before I can ever be selfless. A relapse is determined not when we drink or drug but often days, weeks or months prior when we stop making sober decisions and give up our emotional sobriety. The drink or drug is often the result of acting in a manner that is immoral, in my case I was lying to people I love – including myself. An important rule that I have been living with and will continue to live with is no lying, even if it upsets someone I won’t lie to hide an unfavorable truth because it will lead to an unfavorable outcome for my sobriety and thus everything in my life.
Every consecutive day I stay sober decreases the likelihood that I will use the following day, the first year of sobriety is the most difficult statistically and I need to do everything possible to increase my chances of success. Here are the things I’m currently doing for my sobriety (I will continue to list these in each blog post to help hold myself accountable):
· Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) – 3 days a week
· Learning the guitar, it helps occupy my time and will hopefully serve as a healthy outlet for my emotions
· Yoga – 4 to 6 times a week
· Workout classes – 2 to 3 times a week
· Psychiatrist
· Eating healthy and sleeping well
Things I need to implement:
· Daily zoom AA meetings
· Call my sponsor daily
· 1 on 1 therapy
Ultimately my sobriety needs to take precedence over my relationship with my family, my career and anything else I want that isn’t sobriety. My family and interactions we have is a big trigger for me and I’m learning coping skills to better deal with things but in order to ensure my sobriety for today, tomorrow and until I am more emotionally mature/stable I need to separate myself. My relationships, career and aspirations will take a downturn for the short term but the benefit in the long run will be exponential.